Happy Hoarder

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Happy Hoarder Day # 4 They Can't Take That Away Feb. 18, 2015

Happy Hoarder Day # 4 They Can't Take That Away Feb. 18, 2015
A journey into cleaning up a big pile of ......hoard
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They Can't Take That Away
by Janet S. Tiger

tigerteam1@gmail.com

'They Can't Take That Away' I used to love that old song with Fred Astaire, and the dancing. Now it means something else. I call them to remove my remnants, but then I wonder, should I put those items in the box? The words hum in my ears........They can't take that away....if I don't put it out for them. But they can take that away. And they do. Every week. Today I tried to collect more.

But I am stopped by this jacket. It is not torn or ripped - making it harder to let go. It has the added problem....it was loaned to me by my hoarder mother. Yes, I may have a professional organizer sister, but I am the messy sheep of the family, genetic descendent of my mother, the Queen Bee Hoarder. (Sorry about mixing the animal allusions)

My mother, who loaned me this jacket, probably doesn't recall she loaned it to me. Not because she can't remember - thank god she has her faculties! In fact, those faculties are the most important thing she possesses! No, she probably doesn't recall - because she has 500 other jackets in the hoarding heaven she calls home.

Can I donate this and not tell her? Is it the right thing to do? The moral dilemma of this paralyzes me for a moment. Forget my family's troubles, all the troubles of my friends, forget the world's troubles. This hideous out of style jacket has focused my attention on the complete unimportance of this issue. I am paralyzed and...... embarrassed. And in one instant, I grasp how hard it must be to quit smoking, or drugs or alcohol.

Because I am hooked on all this stuff - and the drama that surrounds it. I am immersed in the horror that is hoarding. No matter what the nice folks from the charities remove from in front of my house, next to my driveway, they can't take that away.....only I can give it away.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Happy Hoarder Day # 3 The X Factor Feb. 17, 2015

Happy Hoarder Day # 3 The X Factor Feb. 17, 2015
A journey into cleaning up a big pile of....... hoard
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Photos will attach (I hope- if they ever arrive from my phone!)

                                                  The X Factor
by Janet S. Tiger

tigerteam1@gmail.com

I have been thinking about the X factor in things. That unknown. In hoarding, I think it can be called the Xcess factor, because we have too much Xtra stuff. And most of this stuff is far from Xtraordinary.

So why hold on? (Side note, I am nominating the country song 'I Hold On' to be the official hoarders anthem. Listen and you'll see what I mean!) I think fear is the overriding factor here -the fear of loss. Of never seeing that item again. Of needing it, and not having it. This is Xtremely upsetting (if you think I might be Xagerrating this X thing, that I get too Xcited about word games like this, please note that there are 1475 words beginning in 'ex', so I'm just getting started!)

Where was I? I was avoiding the subject of fear - which is tied to pretending that this fear over items is not connected to a real and present fear of.....the loss of something truly important. Someone we love. The fear of that is understandable, but who can talk about it all the time without being put into a rubber room? So we hide those fears under piles of things we are afraid to discard.

I guess I will have to face these fears head-on. What a collision in my brain! Who am I afraid of losing? Family. Friends. People I have come to admire on TV. Well, mostly family and friends, but that is enough to stop and make me think. Maybe all this stuff to throw out could be taking precious time away from spending time with them. Hmmm, sounds like a possibility.

Let me take this newfound courage and find something to discard......

I think I am ready to get rid of what I now call...my baby growing housedress. (see yesterday's post for details) There is a photo, and I have put the dress into the give away box. It is very difficult to do. I have done difficult things in my life, but why is this so rough?

Perhaps throwing out old ideas is even harder than throwing away old clothes. Perhaps the ideas are woven into the soul, and need to be Xcised (see I snuck another one in) with a needle that can remove the tatoo.....or is it too deep? Too much into the muscle?

Is it easier to remember the babies when they were babies, growing inside, then newly born, with only the freshness upon them? So do I look to save a hint of that memory.? Xactly what am I trying to save? The fact that they are not children anymore, they will only be children in my brain and heart and memory.

The X is also for x-ing out the items to be discarded, crossed off the list. To make room for new. The question is....new what?

Goodbye old dress.....I knew ye well......

--------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Monday, February 16, 2015

Happy Hoarder Day # 2 Lost and Found Feb. 16, 2015

Happy Hoarder Day # 2 Lost and Found Feb. 16, 2015
A journey into cleaning up a big pile of hoard
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Photos will attach (I hope)

                                                  Lost and Found
by Janet S. Tiger

tigerteam1@gmail.com

Today I begin for real. Amvets is coming, like the shrimp boats, only taking stuff away. The problem - I have found a box of old blouses (and other assorted clothing) and I am only able to rid myself of a few pieces (see photo)

I fear that if I give away the others, there will come a day when I wish I hadn't. A day that I miss the item and want to wear it, but since I am already wearing something else, stop thinking about it. Or - the worst case scenario - a day that I wonder where the item is and go looking for it, like a lost cloth puppy.

Where is the tanktop I wore when I was 23, and it actually fit? The one I went traveling by bus all over the country, and was effective in getting good seats near the driver. The one that has holes and is stained to the point even I wouldn't wear it. Not that I want to wear it, mind you, I just want to know - WHERE THE HELL IS IT? Is it lost and gone forever, dear Clementine shirt? Or is it saved in a box, a drawer, a shed, a storage unit?

And the top question - why do I care?

It's a good question. And at the root of all the saving. I do not know why I care, except, I do love to remember those days, and when I see the shirt, touch the shirt, those days flood back into my brain from the deep dark RAM (or is it ROM?) memory that is deep storage. When I discard the item, it goes into a dark place, into the cloud of time that is now my brain.

Will I ever recall those times without THIS SPECIFIC ONE RATTY, STAINED ITEM? Ay, there's the rub. When I go through the piles and find this item, those memories are alive again for just an instant. So, I take a picture of the items to be given away. Only a very few out of an entire box, yet it takes me an hour! And I say goodbye, horrified that these decisions are so difficult.

Had I never seen this box of clothing again, would I have cared? Probably not (except for the 'wondering where this is' moments) Would I have questioned what happened to the loose-fitting dress I wore when I was pregnant with my two children? Yet there it is, in all its stretched out glory, faded, torn under one arm, with a safety pin to hold the front together where my pregnancy expanding breasts ripped the buttons off one day.

And my children are fine, thank God, now 23 and 20, so this is one old piece of cloth. How can I justify saving it? Because I know that no one will ever use this. Amvets sells only what still looks good, and the...the other, lesser items, are relegated to the literally rag heap. That's right, they take all the old material items that cannot be sold, and these items are, oh, it is so hard to say, these sad ones are......turned into rags.

Rags that are sold to others who have no idea of the memories attached. These people take the rags and use them for God only knows what, and never wonder from whence these fibers came. And now, when I look, I see that my dear old friends, I mean old clothes, may also become carpet padding, insulation, or even rubberized playgrounds! Now that is a better image for me than rags. I can see children playing on the fibers that used to cover my swollen pregnant body. A fitting end to some wonderful material. So maybe, now, I can let that dress go.......or maybe, I'll wait until next week's pick-up. It'll give me some time to say goodbye.

--------------------------------------
recycling tip for fabrics - http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/rag-sorters-textile-recycling-187082
where stuff goes - http://www.earth911.com/recycling-guide/how-to-recycle-clothing-accessories/

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Happy Hoarder Day # 1 Feb. 15, 2015

Happy Hoarder Day # 1 Feb. 15, 2015
Tomorrow will have photos!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                                                The Happy Hoarder - Day 1
by Janet S. Tiger

tigerteam1@gmail.com

     After visiting my mother's home today, I have made a decision. I am a hoarder and I do not want to be a hoarder.

      I have known this for years, but now I have a goal to write about the weird things I hoard - and then discard them. I read that if you take a photo of the item to be discarded, it is easier to let go. Although I doubt this, I am going to try. (Somehow I sense I will be hoarding in the cloud - for those unfamiliar with this cloud, I will explain it in detail in a future blog)

      For today's item, I have chosen blouses. That may seem like more than one item, and I hope it will be, but I fear I may not be able to choose more than one blouse to give away. For help, I am hoping to use an extremely mathematical method. I am donating any blouse that has a stain pattern rating beyond level three. Since this is a personal system, I will elucidate.

      Level one - One stain is allowable usually no matter where it is - although directly over a chestal region can be iffy, usually you can pretend the stain just happened. You take off your sweater or jacket, and pretend to notice the stain for the first time. 'How did THAT get there?' you can exclaim, with the surprise worthy of a fine actress. Of course, you can never wear that blouse again in front of the same people, but who cares? This is a good incentive to make more friends.

      Level two - Stain two creates an even iffier situation - fully dependent on the geography of the stains. If one is high and one is low, you can strategically place your hands over the lower stain. However, if the two stains are close, you can use the same reaction as in the one stain scenario - the logic being whatever caused the first stain caused both. But if the stains are of different origin, near to each other, therein lies the beginning of trouble. What can you do? Does a Tide pen really work? We all know the answer to that - the answer is.....maybe.

Just to clarify - these stains referred to are old stains. Just like older people, they have a history, and their history can be happy or sad. A delicious chocolate sundae that creates a permanent stain never yields the same anger or annoyance as the spattered taco sauce from when your ex told you he was leaving you- for your 18 year old cousin- and you sputtered something unintelligible as the hot redness dripped on your brand new white silk top.

          So, we are now to stain level three- the highest level attainable. Why? Because by the time there are more than two stains, you are past wearing the blouse in public, this blouse has now been reassigned to the clean-up pile of clothing- only to be worn when cleaning the bathroom or helping a hoarding friend move.

   Makes some sense, right? Then why the hoarding? Because, no matter how I rationalize saving to avoid spending, I cannot find a reason to have 39 blouses that are designated as 'clean-up only'. (And that does not include the uncounted blouses in the boxes in my storage shed)

        So, now, I am going to look at the blouses. And photograph them, stains and all. And then I will give them to Amvets. And pray they have a home for them......that some poor soul will pay a quarter for a stained blouse that has seen better days.

Oops, it's getting late, and it is hard to see stains at night. So I will wait until daylight, and I will sleep well, and hope to rid myself of more of this hoard......day by day. But I can have a good laugh over this because that is the way I will become....the Happy (former) Hoarder!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8