A journey into cleaning up a big pile of hoard
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Photos will attach (I hope)
Lost and Found
by Janet S. Tiger
Lost and Found
by Janet S. Tiger
(c) 2015 all rights reserved
Today I begin for real. Amvets is coming, like the shrimp boats, only taking stuff away. The problem - I have found a box of old blouses (and other assorted clothing) and I am only able to rid myself of a few pieces (see photo)
I fear that if I give away the others, there will come a day when I wish I hadn't. A day that I miss the item and want to wear it, but since I am already wearing something else, stop thinking about it. Or - the worst case scenario - a day that I wonder where the item is and go looking for it, like a lost cloth puppy.
I fear that if I give away the others, there will come a day when I wish I hadn't. A day that I miss the item and want to wear it, but since I am already wearing something else, stop thinking about it. Or - the worst case scenario - a day that I wonder where the item is and go looking for it, like a lost cloth puppy.
Where is the tanktop I wore when I was 23, and it actually fit? The one I went traveling by bus all over the country, and was effective in getting good seats near the driver. The one that has holes and is stained to the point even I wouldn't wear it. Not that I want to wear it, mind you, I just want to know - WHERE THE HELL IS IT? Is it lost and gone forever, dear Clementine shirt? Or is it saved in a box, a drawer, a shed, a storage unit?
And the top question - why do I care?
It's a good question. And at the root of all the saving. I do not know why I care, except, I do love to remember those days, and when I see the shirt, touch the shirt, those days flood back into my brain from the deep dark RAM (or is it ROM?) memory that is deep storage. When I discard the item, it goes into a dark place, into the cloud of time that is now my brain.
Will I ever recall those times without THIS SPECIFIC ONE RATTY, STAINED ITEM? Ay, there's the rub. When I go through the piles and find this item, those memories are alive again for just an instant. So, I take a picture of the items to be given away. Only a very few out of an entire box, yet it takes me an hour! And I say goodbye, horrified that these decisions are so difficult.
Had I never seen this box of clothing again, would I have cared? Probably not (except for the 'wondering where this is' moments) Would I have questioned what happened to the loose-fitting dress I wore when I was pregnant with my two children? Yet there it is, in all its stretched out glory, faded, torn under one arm, with a safety pin to hold the front together where my pregnancy expanding breasts ripped the buttons off one day.
And my children are fine, thank God, now 23 and 20, so this is one old piece of cloth. How can I justify saving it? Because I know that no one will ever use this. Amvets sells only what still looks good, and the...the other, lesser items, are relegated to the literally rag heap. That's right, they take all the old material items that cannot be sold, and these items are, oh, it is so hard to say, these sad ones are......turned into rags.
Rags that are sold to others who have no idea of the memories attached. These people take the rags and use them for God only knows what, and never wonder from whence these fibers came. And now, when I look, I see that my dear old friends, I mean old clothes, may also become carpet padding, insulation, or even rubberized playgrounds! Now that is a better image for me than rags. I can see children playing on the fibers that used to cover my swollen pregnant body. A fitting end to some wonderful material. So maybe, now, I can let that dress go.......or maybe, I'll wait until next week's pick-up. It'll give me some time to say goodbye.
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recycling tip for fabrics - http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/rag-sorters-textile-recycling-187082
where stuff goes - http://www.earth911.com/recycling-guide/how-to-recycle-clothing-accessories/
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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