Happy Hoarder Day # 8 Feb. 22, 2015
A journey into cleaning up a big pile of..... hoard
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(photos still in the cloud - will post as soon as they arrive!)
I do not watch the Oscars - I was not nominated, so I only have the TV on in the background to hear what's happening. Many years ago I gave up the notion that there would be a special category for me. And that, the announcer, whoever that would be, would suddenly stop the show and say, ' Oops, we forgot that a special award was invented for you, Janet, where are you?' And I'd be sitting, eating chocolate and saying, 'Why the hell didn't anyone tell me? Was my cell phone off? Or did I miss the call?A journey into cleaning up a big pile of..... hoard
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(photos still in the cloud - will post as soon as they arrive!)
That surprise award would have been for most promising unknown writer. Or unknown writer most likely to succeed. Or writer in underwear most likely to be eating Ben and Jerry's while watching the awards. Something special.
Now I fear the surprise award would be for clutter - but I know - from watching Hoarder Reality Shows - that I could not win that award either. I have no pets pooping in my clutter - well, maybe a mouse or two outside on the driveway. But I do not hoard old, half eaten food, and my kitchen and bathroom are cleaned weekly. The vacuum sucks up dust on a regular basis, and the fridge is cleaned, too. So, with all my junk, I still cannot beat the professional hoarders.
And, to be fair, I did get rid of a lot....but ......I also lied a bit. I still haven't really junked the show papers. I need to pick one paper from each show - then toss the rest. How sad that I fear forgetting, yet if I had never seen these papers, would never have thought of them....ever again. Maybe I should get an honorary Oscar for pretending to throw out items that I never do?
Wait.....did I hear that? Were they calling my name? Gotta go, have to find my acceptance speech in all this clutter.......I want to thank the academy for recognizing that holding on to clutter requires extra special talent........pretending that one day, it will all be gone.......
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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Funny. Especially the lines:
ReplyDelete“I do not watch the Oscars - I was not nominated,…”
“Many years ago I gave up the notion that there would be a special category for me.”
“I also lied a bit.”