Happy Hoarder Day # 40 The Junkmobile March 26, 2015
A journey into cleaning up a big pile of..... hoard
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The Junkmobile
A journey into cleaning up a big pile of..... hoard
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The Junkmobile
by Janet S. Tiger
Once a lovely family minivan, now a junkmobile. Instead of a large, expensive storage unit I now use my old, non-smoggable van as....a junk bunker.
It is sad, yet, after the clearing of my driveway (I see the light at the end of the tunnel on this, and it's not a train!) my next task will be emptying this hardworking van, and then selling it for scrap.
It costs much less than the storage units did - but they were free at first, like cocaine offered to a newbie in the addict market. Then, after the first month, they charge....real money. So I closed those down (I had two!) and brought the contents into my driveway, and into the van, which is parked in a lot nearby.
What possesses me to hold onto this stuff? I fear I know the real, deep reason, even though I've been trying to face it for - is it 40 days? Like Noah in the rain, I am sailing into uncharted territory for me - I am ....not as confident as I once was. There it is. The truth. I worry about where I put things (what if I need something I can't find?) where I got things (why am I saving something for sentimental value if I can't remember who gave it to me?), and worse, what to do if I have given something away...and I need it.
In my youth, I didn't worry about these things - I had confidence I could solve all problems. And then life happened, and I found that, sometimes, I couldn't. That's the scary part of life. Much worse than anything else - not being able to fix something...for yourself...or the worst, for those you love. I have to have the confidence that, whatever happens, I can handle it.....and if I can't, then I have to leave it in the hands of a higher power.
Confidence....from the Latin....con fideo....with faith......so maybe the idea of let go, let God, is just a bigger way...of letting go of all the stuff I no longer need.
Appropriate now, for a vehicle filled with junk....that cannot be driven away. Please God, take the wheel, I'm letting go........
(c) 2015 all rights reserved
Once a lovely family minivan, now a junkmobile. Instead of a large, expensive storage unit I now use my old, non-smoggable van as....a junk bunker.
It is sad, yet, after the clearing of my driveway (I see the light at the end of the tunnel on this, and it's not a train!) my next task will be emptying this hardworking van, and then selling it for scrap.
It costs much less than the storage units did - but they were free at first, like cocaine offered to a newbie in the addict market. Then, after the first month, they charge....real money. So I closed those down (I had two!) and brought the contents into my driveway, and into the van, which is parked in a lot nearby.
What possesses me to hold onto this stuff? I fear I know the real, deep reason, even though I've been trying to face it for - is it 40 days? Like Noah in the rain, I am sailing into uncharted territory for me - I am ....not as confident as I once was. There it is. The truth. I worry about where I put things (what if I need something I can't find?) where I got things (why am I saving something for sentimental value if I can't remember who gave it to me?), and worse, what to do if I have given something away...and I need it.
In my youth, I didn't worry about these things - I had confidence I could solve all problems. And then life happened, and I found that, sometimes, I couldn't. That's the scary part of life. Much worse than anything else - not being able to fix something...for yourself...or the worst, for those you love. I have to have the confidence that, whatever happens, I can handle it.....and if I can't, then I have to leave it in the hands of a higher power.
Confidence....from the Latin....con fideo....with faith......so maybe the idea of let go, let God, is just a bigger way...of letting go of all the stuff I no longer need.
Appropriate now, for a vehicle filled with junk....that cannot be driven away. Please God, take the wheel, I'm letting go........
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
Wunderbar!
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